Familia

Welcome, Daniel "Furious" Lee. It's a hell of a world (and if you don't mind me saying, you've got some crazy parents to deal with), but as long as you have your aunt around to teach you the finer points of making bacon onigiri and how to sing along to pop of the eurotrash variety, you should be fine.

Meanwhile, my family is having a bit of a tiff. I know! I'm shocked my own self. Basically, what's happened is that my Aunt Carol has arranged for my great-aunt Cynthia and the Ohio grandparents to come up to Toronto for Thanksgiving Monday for a big ol' shindig at her house. She wanted everyone to be there (ie. her whole immediate family, and my whole immediate family).

Meanwhile, Geoff has just spent lots of money moving himself out to Halifax and is on a shoestring budget as his girlfriend Meaghan (I should just say partner -- it's more appropriate) tries to find a job for a month or two before going off to volunteer in Costa Rica for two and a half months. Not surprisingly, he said he didn't really want to (and definately couldn't afford to) fly all the way back to Toronto for three days. Instead he offered to call Carol's house on the Monday and have a nice chat with all parties at that point. Good solution.

Except that Carol had already told the venerables that Geoff was coming, and when she found out that he wasn't, laid a huge guilt trip on Mum to the tune of "This could be the last time we get a chance to all be together!" Of course, there's nothing one can say to the 'last chance' argument without sounding like a totally heartless human being, so mum had to (reluctantly) pass on the guilt trip, telling Geoff that he had to fly out, and that she'd pay for his airfare.

The gist of it is, Carol backed both Mum and Geoff into a corner, and now neither of them are happy about it. It's not as if Geoff will have a bad time at Thanksgiving -- it's just that Carol didn't talk to him about it. Instead she elected to go through Mum and not acknowledge that Geoff is now a grown man who has his own priorities and is capable of making his own decisions. Blarg.

Yes, I know, it's not exactly trench warfare or anything, but considering my family generally gets along fine, this is kind of a big deal. I'm mad at Carol too, since she seems to be totally disregarding what Geoff wants. Personally, I think she's stuck in the past -- wanting our family and hers to get together for Thanksgivings again like we used to. But the reality is that things change, and you can't force everyone back into the way things were. However, Geoff and I talked for an hour or so tonight, and we both felt better having gotten the chance to rant at each other. I really do like my brother, and I like the adult relationship we've developed.

...

Although he really does need to learn how to speak up on the phone -- he's so hard to hear!

In case you're wondering, school and qcf continue on much as they ever were: busy, kind of stressful, and exhilarating. I had the most wonderful barn-burning religious discussion last night with some of Joel's relatives. I had meant to meet them at the Brew Pub to say 'hi' at 9:30 and leave by 10pm. I ended up not coming home until 1. It's so nice to talk about these things with people who aren't Christian --it keeps me from being sucked into the Christian lifestyle/ghetto, and reassures me that I am not, in fact, becoming intolerant or losing touch with 'real people'. It's reassuring to know that I can actually integrate my faith with the world around me in a meaningful way which doesn't insult or frighten others. It was immensely gratifying to see Geoff (not my Geoff, Joel's half-uncle Geoff), Danielle, and Crazy Uncle Jonathon appreciate my efforts at qcf and come to the conclusion that I was not the fundamentalist bigot that they (half) assumed I was at the beginning of our conversation.

Three families: a birth, a rift, and a discussion. The bonds we forge between those people we didn't choose to have around us are always interesting, if not always peaceful.