He's an interesting man.
I've decided that my father is fascinating. I mean, not that he wasn't interesting before, but some things he said this weekend (while I was at home, going to a wedding of two startlingly young people) cemented my opinion of him as an entirely unique individual.
First of all, he's politically conservative. Which is an odd thing for him to be, if you think about it. After all, he was a hippie who smoked quite a lot of pot in university (and probably still does... I haven't had the chutzpah to ask him) and he's not part of the religious right, he's not at all racist or sexist, he's urbane, and he's very well educated. But those sorts of things are all the stereotypes of conservativism (ie. that they're stupid Christian bigots associated either with farming or with big business). He believes in small government, supported the Iraq war, and has no patience for academic intellectuals who like to slander George Bush or anyone who isn't leftist. I can't quite figure out why he's politically conservative, but he is. He doesn't fit any of the conservative stereotypes me and my lefty friends like to toss around so easily, and I like that.
Secondly, my father is usually a good British stoic (stiff upper lip and all that), but has occasional moments of fascinating openness. While waiting for my mum to get off a plane from Halifax this weekend, he told me he thinks his tendancy not to form lasting friendships and to be a bit of hermit comes from all the travelling his family did when he was growing up. That bit of insight reveals way more self-reflexion than I thought Dad did -- and it was said right before we moved on in our conversation to an affirmation of good British stoicism over the often destructive effects of 'saying what's on your mind' all the time.
Thirdly, he continues to teach me and inspire me to learn. He's kept a diary of all the books he reads each year since he was about 24, and he is constantly reading and learning new things. He knows more than anyone I know about the genocide in Rwanda simply because he took the time to read the books and watch the documentaries. He's always recommending books for me to read. But the learning goes far beyond books -- I firmly beleive that it is his insistence that I think for myself which led me to explore Christianity and (eventually) find a meaningful faith of my own. I can still remember how he made snide comments about commercials while watching tv with me when I was small -- it was my first realization of the trickery involved in consumerism. Even this morning, while in the car on the way to the bus station, I made some remark saying I was grateful that I hadn't grown up rich (since many of Dad's private school students seem fairly screwed up by their wealth). He responded with "Not rich, of course, by Western standards." The answer set me back on my heels for a minute. Yes, I am rich, by any standard the world would make. I am driving in a car from one house to another, with a full belly and lots of nice clothes in my suitcase. I am rich.
Not to mention, my father is fairly hilarious. His tales of exploits with his students, his amusing adventures in cleaning (he once disintigrated an 'indestructible' Tilley hat because he tried scrubbing it in a sink full of bleach), and his linguistic pompousness (he's called me a virago numerous times) all combine to make him a funny, funny man.
And he's my father. He makes sure to kiss me goodnight whenever I'm home, and despite his overwhelming love of his cars, when I crashed one of his 'babies' the first thing he wanted to know was "Are you okay?". I do love him -- in spite of (and perhaps because of) all his oddities and flaws. And because he continues to surprise me and make me think.
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On a totally unrelated note, I just received a fabulous early birthday present from my housemates. Considering that I'm travelling by plane for the first time in over five years, it's only appropriate that they got me both volumes of the graphic novel anthology "Flight". So very cool! Now I'm off to lounge in the sun and read my awesome new books.
posted by bento at 10:51 AM
4 Comments:
Your dad, as we British stoics might say, kicks arse.
You have inspired me to send an email to you, so watch outl
12:23 PM
Hurray! Email goodness!
Watch out, though, I may take a while to respond to it.
8:43 PM
After all, he was a hippie who smoked quite a lot of pot in university (and probably still does... I haven't had the chutzpah to ask him)
If you haven't already, ask G about what he learned about your father and Uncle Peter's trips to the cottage...
I think there's a lot of misunderstanding regarding the definition of liberal and conservative, in a political philosphy sense. A lot of conservative philosophy is very highly focused on things like strengthening families, strengthening communities and strong environmental regulations, i.e. the good of the whole, whereas some liberal philosophy is far too focused on the individual for my liking (like Libertarian).
Way back during my university time (ah, the heady days of 2003), I learned that outside of the English speaking world, things like Reagan-omics and a fair number of Dubya's policies are called neo-liberal rather than neo-conservative, mainly because large tax cuts and limiting governmental control in people's lives is geared towards individual freedoms rather than society's.
I know a lot of people who define themselves as "conservative" but who are actually quite liberal, in a linguistic sense, in their views, but wouldn't define themselves as liberal in a political philosophy sort of way. It's probably because "liberal" and "conservative" have been bandied about so readily for so long, usually being misused or misappropriated for politicians own ends. It's very similar to economic terms which are also dropped into conversation by so-called intellectuals. I've only ever met one person who was actually anti-capitalist, i.e. someone who favoured a command based economic system. Everyone else I've met who claims to be anti-capitalist aren't even really anti-corporation. Usually, they are anti-excess consumerist and/or anti-worked exploitatist; they want to change the players in the market, not the market structure itself. They're almost alwyas fine with co-operatively based companies or fairly run corporations.
I agree with you that there's sort of a demonisation of those who want to be viewed as politically conservative, as you said, being part of the religious right, a racist, a sexist, and I feel that many people just jump on the "liberal" bandwagon because of the fear of being characterised as such. Or, as in the United States, no one wants to be called liberal, so they claim to be conservative because liberals are weak, unemployed hippies with no concept of a hard day's work or the stark realities of the real world.
I sympathise with your dad's hermit comment and worry about forming lasting friendships. By the time I was eight, I'd lived in six different houses, as well as emigrating from and then immigrating back to Canada, plus having to go to three different schools once we settled into Ottawa because of zoning changes, which was a lot like moving as most of my friends ended up going to different schools both times I had to switch. You get so used to the fact that you're not going to be there very long, so what's the point.
I don't know. It makes me sad when I hear other people say that. You always want everyone to be happy and surrounded by friends.
7:31 AM
thanks -- I've known for a while that "conservative" and "liberal" are mixed-up terms, but hadn't known quite what they used to mean/should mean now.
and as for lasting friendships, it's all about being able to communicate with people, whether that's on the phone or through email or in person or by semaphore. Nobody ever said having friends meant living in the same city as those friends.
12:12 PM
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