A Matter of Perspective

I've realized in the last few days that how we see ourselves versus how others see us can be understand by a very simple comparison: Presence and Absence. We tend to see ourselves (and what we do), in terms of what is there: the extra belly jiggle, the act of replacing toilet paper, the zits, the good thesis in our essay. Whereas other people (be they teachers, friends, family, whatever) see us in terms of absence: a lack of indecision, the holes in our argument, the times we forgot to replace the toothpaste cap, etc.

Even as I write this, I know the problems with it. Not everyone analyzes themselves in positive terms -- many of us are profoundly negative about our own abilities, and need other people to shore up our egos. However, in that case the situation is simply reversed.
"I hate my lack of ambition/my bad vision/my procrastination." = Absence

"But you are a good person: you help others/have lovely beautiful eyes/do the dishes when it's not your turn." = presence

Whichever way you look at it, our impression of ourselves can be categorized in terms of presence and absence. Perhaps a person with low self-esteem is merely someone who sees more of what they lack than what they have. Perhaps someone who is "annoying" or "self-absorbed" is merely someone who has a habit of always seeing only what they do and what others don't do.

There you go. Perhaps not a ground-breaking revelation, but it was something I hadn't thought of before -- a new way of understanding the world and perhaps of better understanding how to connect to other people.