Distilling the Essence of Life into an MSN Screen Name

I don't use instant messenger programs very much. I'm not sure quite why, seeing as I now have quite a few friends scattered around Canada and the world that I'd like to be able to talk to. Obviously, an IM program is much more like a real conversation than email. But I just don't like it. Perhaps because it takes up so much time, which grates against my attempts at efficiency. Perhaps because I can't restrain myself from writing long paragraphs instead of the short sentances everyone else prefers. Perhaps it's just because I can't stand the sight of things like 'LOL' and 'im hear 4 u!!!' In any case, I generally avoid IM's.

But one trend I can't avoid is hearing a phrase in my day to day life more and more "Oh, that quote's so becoming my new MSN screen name!"

I don't know why, but this disturbs me immensely. I'm fine with using screen names as a way to convey quick information about one's mood/location/busyness (ie. Bento -- overrun with work, have a headache. blarg.). But when you start defining yourself (and every instant message you send) by some randomly funny comment you heard that day, it gets a little weird.

Bento - 'take your blah-blah to the blahblah-ologist' says:

Bento - 'some days I just think I'm a chicken' says:

Bento - 'Wait, you really have a salami in your pants?' says:

It all seems so reductionist to me -- everything you say is filtered (at least to me -- other people seem able to ignore them) through this bizarre, cryptic little screen name. You become defined, at least for a day or a few hours, by this quote which may or may not have any bearing on your life. Most people seem to choose them for sheer hilarity, but I just can't wrap my head around why you'd want to do such a thing.

I like words because they're ephemeral, because if I say something stupid I can redeem myself in the next second or so by saying something that's less stupid. But saddling yourself with a screen name seems to me like putting the albatross around your own neck, padlocking it, and throwing away the key. You're now doomed (for however long you have that screen name) for these words follow your every comment around, for better or for worse, shifting every meaning and emotion you try to convey.