Day 8 and counting...

Have just worked my 8th day in a row. I'm assured this isn't normal, it's because one of my coworkers (who is like two normal people, workload-wise)is on vacation this week, but still. I'm tired. I feel like a bit of a wuss, since it hasn't been full time -- only 5 or 6 hours, depending on the day -- but I try and tell myself that working 5 or 6 hours making beds and hauling laundry and pushing vacuums is a hard thing to do. In any case, wuss or not, I'm going to need a day off soon. I've been promised Monday off, if not Tuesday as well, so I have hope.

It doesn't help, of course, that it's an absolutely gorgeous Victoria Day weekend (Happy Weekend, Victoria!) and my housemate's off camping and I'm all alone and I'm sure everyone else is outside enjoying the weather...but all I have enough energy to do is lounge about inside watching tv. Which is relaxing enough, but is kind of my mental equivalent of eating at McDonald's -- it smells and tastes wonderful when you're hungry, but then you just feel kind of sick afterwards.

So now I'm off to a bookstore to see if I can't cheer myself up by finding a used copy of The Book of Alternative Services for the Anglican Church.

Yes, I know I'm a weirdo.

Update: I did not find the book I was looking for (I'm going to have to give in soon and just steal one from a church, I think), but found a cure for my tired grumpiness in the bottom of a Tim Horton's Ice Capp. This may be the town of fancy gourmet coffee, but I just want the iced beverage that every other non-Vancouver Canadian drinks when it gets hot.

Unexpected

I'm slowly getting the hang of working at the B&B. How to make sure your scrambled eggs don't stick, how to properly fold fitted sheets, the best way to pad out a slow day when you want to work at least four hours, how to deal with disorganized bosses... it's all pretty routine. But today I had a very disturbing experience that taught me that B&B work is sometimes far from ordinary.

Over the past week I've gotten to know a rather fussy and passive-aggressive guest who's been in the B&B for a few weeks now, as her husband was in the hospital just down the road (since Vancouver's main hospital is so close, we get quite a bit of business through family wishing to be nearby). She hasn't been the easiest guest, requiring her eggs done a certain way, having a lot of calls, always needing to speak to us about something she's unhappy with. But I've put up with it, not only because she's a guest and you don't yell at guests for being horribly passive aggressive, but also because underneath all of it there was a deep and worrying sense of sadness about her. So when she vaguely waved at me to come out of the kitchen this morning, her face lined with stress in a way I hadn't seen before, some part of me knew. Or at least, some part of me feared.

Her husband died in hospital last night.

Suddenly, this woman (whose first name I don't even know) is a widow, and I was one of the many things she had to deal with when clearly all she wanted to do was curl up in a ball and forget the world. She couldn't even look me in the eye as she explained what had happened and that her sister would be coming in and she didn't know if her sister would want her own room, or a cot in her suite, or what. I assured her that I would make a room or a cot available if she needed it, and I tried with every power of body language and tone of voice to radiate my compassion. But other than that I could do nothing.

By the middle of the day, when my coworker and I quietly made up a cot and put it in her room, she was beyond rational thought or decision. She wandered around in slippers and a housecoat, and crawled into bed right while we were in her room. She was quite literally mad with grief. It was awful, and while her quiet 'thank you' as we crept out of the room made me think she might one day recover, right now she's going through a hell I can't even imagine. All I can do is pray for her, pray for sleep and rest and some sort of helpful grieving process. But that seems so little, and her pain is so large.

Update and Peektore

First day of work went well -- much less actual work than I was expecting. Very laid back, although I'm sure it'll get busier as the tourist season gets going. In the meantime, it seems as long as I don't set the house on fire via pancakes and make a generous effort to vacuum up hairs and dust and such, then I'm doing okay.

Also, I have recieved a picture of me atop a lookout point on Bowen Island, looking squinty and happy and tired (all of which are true). But ignore me, and notice the beautiful scenery! British Columbia really is quite stunning.

Off to Work

My full-time work at a local B&B starts tomorrow, and I'm a bit nervous. It's going to be tiring work -- on my feet 8 hours a day at the very least, even if I am cooking and cleaning and doing other things I like. I'm not sure if I'll have any energy left by the end of the day, let alone the end of the week. But the signs are good so far (bosses seem flexible and friendly), so hopefully it'll turn out to be a good job.

In the meantime, I had a lovely weekend. Despite waking up to rain, a sore calf muscle, and a painful bruise on my foot (my childhood habit of stubbing my toes paid me a surprise visit...) I hedged my bets Saturday morning and went hiking on Bowen Island with some friends. The risk was well worth it, as my new hiking boots supported me all the way, and the clouds eventually cleared away to a beautiful day perfect for admiring the ocean, mountains, lakes, and sublime forests of the BC coast. I also finally felt a little bit more like myself -- less frenetically overstimulated, more laid back -- than I have been previously around Regent friends. I mean, it's nice that people like me even when I'm acting insane, but it'll also be nice when they realize I'm not always that energetically outgoing.

Sunday was relaxed, involving a whole lot of nothing with Rena. She's so lovely just to hang around with, and reminds me why you make friends in the first place -- so you can one day have that moment where you know that no matter what you say, the person sitting across from you will still like you. I didn't do the shopping, I didn't clean my room, I didn't even make any plans for next week -- I just let myself be, and I feel more human for it.

Now, here's hoping for a good night's sleep and a good first day of work tomorrow. Wish me luck!