Adventures in boot leakage

In case you didn't notice, it's winter. Season of flu, long-johns, scarves, and people who sound like Fat Tony from the Simpsons. And, for me, season of boot-guilt.

Yes indeed, boot guilt. Y'see, I generally like to have big clompy winter boots that could easily squish a chihuahua, if they so chose. The kind of boots that are waterproof, salt-proof, fire-proof and probably even nuclear-attack-proof. The kind of boots which strike fear into the hearts of men.

Unfortunately, these kinds of boots have very, very large treads. This is good for grip while walking out side, but bad once one gets inside. Why? because of boot-leakage. My large treads accumulate a large amount of snow between them, which, once I go inside, melts into ginormous pools of saly, gritty water. If I only went inside once or twice a day, then this would be fine. But I don't. At least five times day my hooj boots must make little lakes on carpets and floors. This becomes a problem for me, because I have often have to put my backpack on the floor next to this tiny deluge, and for other's whom I'm always dripping on inadvertantly.

So now I stamp my boots on the way into buildings, leaving endless slushy bootprints and looking like some angry teen having a hissy fit ("I don't wanna go to class!" *stamp*). I feel bad for the poor janitors (having done it, I know how much it sucks to have to clean up snow slush -- having to empty your bucket after five square feet of floor is no fun at all). I feel bad for having to take up another seat in a crowded classroom with my bag, because I know my bag will get wet on the floor from my boot leakage.

So I've retreated into wearing other boots (ones with tiny, nearly worn-down treads) -- less safe and waterproof perhaps, but less work for all involved. Also, less boot guilt.

CBC = biassed!

I never really realized this before, but the CBC is biassed, just like any other news agency.

Y'see, being a good Canadian girl, I've always had a soft spot for the CBC. I see Yergn Goth as that crazy old uncle who tells weird stories, Tom Allan is my morning pick-me-up, and Peter Mansbridge's forehead soothes me (and the fact that he could not be wearing any pants and I'd never know amuses me). My main source of news is the ten minute updates on CBC radio two, and I've always thought that the CBC was fairly accurate, and unbiassed. Maybe they were a little Liberal, maybe they covered hockey a bit too fervently -- but, hey, what good Canadian station wouldn't?

Then came the Prime Minister's trip to Asia. Last Thursday I was listening to the news, and was shocked to hear a reference to "The 1989 'student protests' in Tiannamen Square". Pardon? "Student Protests"? How about "massacre"? Never once in the news brief did they mention that people got killed in 1989, or that the Chinese government still hasn't admitted to what happened.

In the same news brief, then mentioned the "Quebec Ad Agency 'Affair'". What happened to the 'scandal'? Again, the word choice denoted that the CBC was backing away from blaming anyone. The Chinese government isn't power-hungry and anti-democracy, the Canadian Liberals aren't corrupt...what next? The Hiroshima 'bomb incident'?

The language bothered me becuase it seemed too much like the CBC was taking the Liberal Government's side, the side that says trade with China is good, and we'll worry about those silly human rights abuses later, and that the Ad Agency Scandal was just a big misunderstanding. Suddenly I remembered that the CBC is technically state-owned media. Boo.

So, there goes another cherished childhood naivete. Sure, the CBC is a good station, with generally good news reporting. But they have their biasses and their hidden political agendas, just like everybody else.

Feeling...off.

I don't know why, but I've been feeling a bit down the past few days. Reasons? Here's a few:

Returning to school and not being interested in doing work/writing essays. Being tired of organizing things for QCF. Not having enough Vitamin D due to it being winter. Worried about money. Several good friends of mine with personal crises happening. My mother being sick and my father being burnt out. Feeling frustrated by the North American consumer society, but not being able to tear myself out of it. Where will I find work in the summer? Frustrated by my lack of interest in social occasions (could have gone out to a bar with two sets of people tonight, but instead chose to stay home, watch West Wing, and feel sorry for myself).

Y'know, just writing it all down makes me feel better. Like...like I'm not just unhappy for no reason.

Things I've Learned.

It's been a funny sort of holiday. It's been really good, really relaxing, and really educational. For three weeks spent sleeping, reading, watching sports, playing video games, and attending Jesus Camp, I learned a lot. Including:

1. I don't want to become my mother.
And I don't mean that in the traditional sort of child rebellion way. I mean I look at her and her mystery illness and her need to go back to work and I realize I'm the same sort of personality. I like to feel useful, to do things, to help people. And all those good things can become bad when they're combined with a work ethic that doesn't let you stop long enough to listen to your body and realize that stress can really hurt you.

2. Relaxation -- real relaxation -- is addictive
Related to that first comment, and to some stuff Biku's been telling me for years, I decided to try and do nothing for long stretches of this holiday. I don't mean I stared at walls; while I still cooked and watched tv and read and such, I deliberately tried not to make plans. I'd gotten so used to planning my free time ("I've got a day off here, so I'll sleep until 10, then have a bath and finish that book I've been meaning to read, then do some shopping, then do my laundry. After lunch, I'll...") that I'd nearly forgotten what it was to have free time, to just let a day happen as it happened. And you know what? It worked. I feel relaxed, and comfortable, and most of the things I wanted to do this holiday still got done. In fact, I got so used to that sort of relaxation that I'm, for the first time, finding it hard to get back into the rhythm of school. And that's good, I think. I'm finally recognizing that the life I lead here at Queen's really is a stressful one, and that occasionally I need days where there is no plan.

3. There are other Christians out there like me.
This one's pretty self-explanatory -- I'd been underestimating other people, thinking that I and my tiny enclave of Queen's friends were the only truly 'enlightened' christians out there. God loves us best, clearly. But that's just not true. There are lots of good, intelligent people out there who, like me, recognize the problems of Christianity, and yet still believe in it.

4. I am rich.
The one thing NSLC (aka Jesus Camp) really made me realize was that I am rich and I am privaleged. See, Canadians love to all classify themselves as 'middle class'. The richer ones merely classify themselves as 'upper middle-class'. But realy, we're rich. If I can pay for an apartment and food and way more clothes than I need, and still have money left over for a few luxuries like movies and fancy chocolates, then I am rich by the world's standards. We talked a lot at the conference about living like the first Christians did -- really engaging their faith, living comunally, helping each other and being excited about what they believed. I appreciated what was being said, and how my fellow conference-goers were engaging with how challenging that kind of life is -- but sometimes the irony made me want to scream. We were paying money to be here, to be fed each day by other people, to have luxury time and talk about all these nice ideas...while in South Asia thousands of people had no homes or food. While thousands more died of AIDS and in civil wars and because they had no one to take care of them. If we really were commited to living like those first Christians did, then why hadn't we already left the conference and gone to actually help people? Why hadn't we followed the example in Acts and given all our money away?

I have no answer to that question. All I know is that despite the feeling that I should, I didn't do it. I didn't sell everything and go help people, and neither did anyone else. But what if that's what we're supposed to do?

Now my challenge is what to do with the knowledge that I'm rich, and that my faith calls me to help others in every way I can. As a rich Christian, what should I be doing? Is it enough to cut down my own consumption, to give money to relief agencies, to try and live a caring, giving, and sustainable life? Or do I need something more drastic?

5. Cats don't like front-load clothes washers
The parents got a new front-load clothes washer over the holidays. More efficient, uses less water, less soap, clothes come out dryer -- all good things. But even better, it's got a cool clear front door that lets you see the clothes sloshing around. I, naturally, was entranced by the swishing motion (it's kind of like watching the laundromat dryers, only with water involved). When my cat Spooky came up, I decided he needed to see too. Unfortunately, I forgot that cats don't exactly distinguish between clear door and no door at all, so when I pushed Spooky towards (what he must have seen as) a wall of water and weird wet things, he was not amused. In fact, he hissed at it. It was kinda funny, actually. He still treats the washer as a new and dangerous enemy.

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So like I said, I learned a lot. But it was still a really really good holiday. Frustrating at times, sad at times...but most of the time it was just right.